Placeholder Content Image

Debate erupts over groom's unconventional footwear choice

<p>In what seems to be a picture perfect wedding, eagle-eyed social media users spotted one odd detail. </p> <p>The couple were snapped standing at the altar, and while everything else about their outfit seemed flawless, one Reddit user called the groom out for wearing black Crocs and black socks to his wedding. </p> <p>“Imagine you get ready for three hours and your groom shows up in Crocs,” the user said. </p> <p>“Crocs would be a legit reason to say no at the altar,” another wrote, before adding: <span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">“Crocs are a valid reason to not date someone. They are horrible.”</span></p> <p>“He’s wearing a suit, maybe he has a problem with his feet that he can’t wear proper footwear,” a third commented</p> <p>“Surely no one, no matter how casual in style, voluntarily leaves the house in Crocs?”</p> <p>However many other social media users were quick to defend the wedding faux pas, with some saying that they wish they had done the same thing at their own weeding. </p> <p>“He probably has an injured foot or broken toe. He’s perfectly groomed (a pun) otherwise and obviously tried to camouflage his socks and crocs with his attire," one sympathised. </p> <p>“Ya I have really severe diabetic neuropathy in my feet, especially my toes. Doctor actually suggested Crocs as they have extra space and don’t restrict movement," another added.</p> <p>“I wore flip flops under my dress. I hate heels with a passion,” a third wrote. </p> <p>"He's wearing a nice suit, matching dark socks so I'm not seeing an issue here as he probably has some kind of foot or back injury or pain. If I were marrying him this wouldn't bother me," added a fourth. </p> <p>“Let the man get married in something comfortable. My wife could have shown up in a potato sack barefoot for all I cared, she is there to marry me, not for a fashion show," a fifth defended. </p> <p><em>Image: Reddit</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Obese woman sparks debate for not giving up extra seat for toddler

<p>An obese woman has sparked debate online after refusing to give up the second seat she paid for to a fussy toddler. </p> <p>The 34-year-old booked the two seats for her cross-country flight to visit her family for Christmas because she was previously unable to comfortably fit in one seat. </p> <p>All was well until the young woman next to her demanded that she "squeeze into one seat" so her son could sit on the other. </p> <p>"I am obese," she admitted on the Reddit thread. "I'm actively working toward losing weight and I've made progress - but I booked an extra seat because I'm fat."</p> <p>She added that she insisted on keeping her seat because she paid for it, but the mum "made a big fuss over it, and she told the flight attendant I was stealing the seat from her son." </p> <p>"Then I showed her my boarding passes, proving that I paid for the extra seat. The flight attendant asked me if I could try to squeeze in, but I said no, that I wanted the extra seat I paid for."</p> <p>The woman claimed that the toddler was only 18 months old, so he didn't need his own seat and could've sat on his mum's lap for the duration of the flight. </p> <p>"I got dirty looks and passive-aggressive remarks from her for the entire flight and I do feel a little bad because the boy looked hard to control - but am I in the wrong?" she asked other social media users. </p> <p>Many shared their overwhelming support for the woman and slammed the mum and flight attendant for their "horrific" behaviour. </p> <p>"The mum is an a**hole for not buying a seat for her son and assuming someone else would give up a seat they paid for. Odds are she was hoping there'd be extra seats on the flight so she didn't have to pay and used the lap thing as a loophole," one commented. </p> <p>"What's even the point of the extra seat if the flight attendants are going to let entitled people bully others into giving it up?" another added. </p> <p>"People buy entire seats for high-end musical equipment. Not even people. Their lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on your part," a third wrote. </p> <p>However, there were a few others that said the woman was in the wrong for causing an inconvenience. </p> <p>"If you are so fat that you have to have more than one seat on an airplane then you are selfish," one said. </p> <p>"Flights overbook all the time especially during the holidays - how can you justify having two seats to yourself?" </p> <p>"How much room does a kid take up, seriously? Yeah the mum should've bought a seat but that doesn't mean you have to be selfish and cause two people discomfort," another commented. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Travel Trouble

Placeholder Content Image

Debate sparked over list of top 100 cities on the planet

<p>The best 100 cities on the planet have been revealed, with one New Zealand city making the final list. </p> <p>The list was compiled by as part of an annual report by <a href="https://www.worldsbestcities.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Resonance Consultancy</a>, who rated major capital cities on three main factors: liveability, lovability and prosperity, with dozens of factors taken into account.</p> <p>These include educational attainment, GDP per capita, poverty rate, the number of quality restaurants, shops and nightclubs, walkability, the number of mapped bike routes, quality parks and museums, as well as ratings from TripAdvisor and Google. </p> <p>The top ten chart features four cities on the Asian continent, four in Europe and two in the U.S, while Auckland was also featured in the list, coming in at number 64.</p> <p>Taking out the number one spot this year is London, dubbed the "capital of capitals" that "reigns over all global cities" as the best metropolis in the world. </p> <p>The study proclaims it as the most liveable and the most lovable mecca, solidified by its winning culture and education attainment.</p> <p>The report concludes, "Despite crippling Covid lockdowns and economic devastation. Despite Brexit. Despite a war in Europe. The city is more indomitable and part of the global discourse than ever. From the Queen's death, to last autumn's chaotic drama at 10 Downing Street that finally calmed down with Rishi Sunak becoming prime minister, only to take heavy local election losses this spring, London is rarely quiet these days."</p> <p>Here's the full list of top 100 cities in the world.</p> <p> 1 - London, England </p> <p>2 - Paris, France</p> <p>3 - New York, USA</p> <p>4 - Tokyo, Japan</p> <p>5 - Singapore</p> <p>6 - Dubai, United Arab Emirates</p> <p>7 - San Francisco, USA</p> <p>8 - Barcelona, Spain</p> <p>9 - Amsterdam, Netherlands</p> <p>10 - Seoul, South Korea</p> <p>11 - Rome, Italy </p> <p>12 - Prague, Czechia </p> <p>13 - Madrid, Spain </p> <p>14 - Berlin, Germany</p> <p>15 - Los Angeles, USA</p> <p>16 - Chicago, USA</p> <p>17 - Washington, D.C., USA</p> <p>18 - Beijing, China </p> <p>19 - Istanbul, Turkey </p> <p>20 - Dublin, Ireland</p> <p>21 - Vienna, Austria </p> <p>22 - Milan, Italy </p> <p>23 - Toronto, Canada</p> <p>24 - Boston, USA</p> <p>25 - Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates </p> <p>26 - Budapest, Hungary </p> <p>27 - São Paulo, Brazil</p> <p>28 - Riyadh, Saudi Arabia</p> <p>29 - Stockholm, Sweden </p> <p>30 - Munich, Germany</p> <p>31 - Melbourne, Australia </p> <p>32 - Lisbon, Portugal </p> <p>33 - Zürich, Switzerland</p> <p>34 - Seattle, USA</p> <p>35 - Sydney, Australia </p> <p>36 - Doha, Qatar</p> <p>37 - Brussels, Belgium </p> <p>38 - San Jose, USA</p> <p>39 - Bangkok, Thailand</p> <p>40 - Warsaw, Poland </p> <p>41 - Copenhagen, Denmark </p> <p>42 - Taipei, Taiwan </p> <p>43 - Austin, USA</p> <p>44 - Oslo, Norway </p> <p>45 - Osaka, Japan </p> <p>46 - Hong Kong, China </p> <p>47 - Tel Aviv, Israel </p> <p>48 - Athens, Greece</p> <p>49 - Frankfurt, Germany</p> <p>50 - Vancouver, Canada </p> <p>51 - San Diego, USA</p> <p>52 - Orlando, USA</p> <p>53 - Helsinki, Finland </p> <p>54 - Miami, USA</p> <p>55 - Buenos Aires, Argentina </p> <p>56 - Hamburg, Germany </p> <p>57 - Brisbane, Australia </p> <p>58 - Kuwait, Kuwait</p> <p>59 - Las Vegas, USA</p> <p>60 - Montreal, Canada </p> <p>61 - Glasgow, Scotland</p> <p>62 - Shanghai, China </p> <p>63 - Rio de Janeiro, USA</p> <p>64 - Auckland, New Zealand </p> <p>65 - Atlanta, USA</p> <p>66 - Houston, USA</p> <p>67 - Busan, South Korea</p> <p>68 - Philadelphia, USA</p> <p>69 - Naples, Italy </p> <p>70 - Denver, USA</p> <p>71 - Nashville, USA</p> <p>72 - Manchester, England </p> <p>73 - Dallas, USA</p> <p>74 - Liverpool, England</p> <p>75 - Minneapolis, USA</p> <p>76 - Mexico City, Mexico</p> <p>77 - Minsk, Belarus </p> <p>78 - Lyon, France </p> <p>79 - Portland, USA</p> <p>80 - Rotterdam, Netherlands </p> <p>81 - Bogotá, Colombia</p> <p>82 - Kraków, Poland</p> <p>83 - Valencia, Spain</p> <p>84 - Santiago, Chile </p> <p>85 - Birmingham, England</p> <p>86 - New Orleans, USA</p> <p>87 - Bucharest, Romania</p> <p>88 - Leeds, England</p> <p>89 - Muscat, Oman </p> <p>90 - Ottawa, Canada </p> <p>91 - Cologne, Germany </p> <p>92 - Charlotte, USA</p> <p>93 - Calgary, Canada </p> <p>94 - Nagoya, Japan  </p> <p>95 - Düsseldorf, Germany </p> <p>96 - Hanoi, Vietnam</p> <p>97 - Gothenburg, Sweden </p> <p>98 - Sapporo, Japan</p> <p>99 - Bilbao, Spain </p> <p>100 - Baltimore, USA</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

International Travel

Placeholder Content Image

The debate: Should kids over 18 pay rent if they’re still living at home?

<p>Parents have shared their thoughts on letting their children live at home rent free, as the age old debate of paying board stirred up some strong opinions. </p> <p>A <a href="https://honey.nine.com.au/money/should-children-over-the-age-of-18-pay-board-if-they-still-live-at-home-reader-poll-exclusive/77876711-2950-4bf3-bb30-716442a6fd74" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>nine.com.au</em></a> reader survey asked the question: Should children over the age of 18 pay board if they still live at home?</p> <p>The responses were many and varied, as a whopping 72 percent of respondents said grown up kids should be contributing financially to the household. </p> <p>One person commented, "If children have employment, it's important that they clearly understand that life is not free and they need to budget, show accountability and responsibility."</p> <p>Another wrote, "If the children over 18 are working, then yes, they should contribute or give money to the parents to bank for them."</p> <p>Others said children shouldn't be expected to pay board, and would rather their kids save money for bigger financial commitments.</p> <p>"My parents did not charge me board even though I was working because they did not need the money and told me to save for my first car, which I did," one person shared. </p> <p>Another wrote their parenting tactic, writing, "I let my children not pay board. So they could save for a deposit on a house. They did and they all (3) have a house."</p> <p>Despite many people sharing their strong opinions on the matter, most respondents said it was not a black and white question, as many households have individual circumstances that affect their decision. </p> <p>"Depends on if they are working or not and what income the parents have. My son is 22 but unemployed due to health problem, we just pool our unemployment payment so it differs for each family situation, not a YES or No answer," one reader wrote. </p> <p>Another said it depends on their employment and study status, writing, "Yes if they're working almost full time, not if they're studying and just working part time to cover living expenses."</p> <p>The poll comes as Aussies have struggled with a rise in basic living costs, with <a href="https://www.finder.com.au/australian-household-spending-statistics" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ABS</a> data showing that Australian households spent a total of $1.2 trillion on what was classed as general living costs in 2022. </p> <p>This sum is close to $100 billion more than in 2021. </p> <p>The average household spent $130,353 in 2022, which is the equivalent of $2507 per week. This is a 20.4 per cent jump on the previous year.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Money & Banking

Placeholder Content Image

Heated argument between economy passengers reignites plane etiquette debate

<p>A 12-second clip of two passengers arguing on a plane has reignited the age-old debate of whether it is acceptable to recline your seat on a plane. </p> <p>The viral video which was originally posted on TikTok and then re-shared on X, has racked up over 8 million views since Thursday. </p> <p>In the video, a frustrated woman was calling out another female passenger for pushing her seat the entire flight, right after they landed. </p> <p>“The whole trip she pushed my seat,” the woman said to a male passenger seated next to the female passenger accused of kicking her seat. </p> <p>“You seen it. You know she did.”</p> <p>“I’m allowed to put my seat back," she yelled repeatedly. </p> <p>Ian Miles Cheong, the user who posted the video on X, defended the woman saying: “She’s allowed to put her seat back. You don’t get to kick it repeatedly just because you want more space.”</p> <p>A few were on the woman's side and praised her for standing up for herself. </p> <p>“You are allowed! Period! You want space in front of you instead of pushing the seat, buy a seat with extra space or get your a** to business class. Reclining was put there for a reason,” one person wrote. </p> <p>“She was patient enough to wait till flight landed," they added. </p> <p>“If the seat is reclinable, recline it,” another commented. </p> <p>"What she’s saying is right. The woman has a right to put her seat back without someone kicking it," a third agreed.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">She’s allowed to put her seat back. You don’t get to kick it repeatedly just because you want more space. <a href="https://t.co/WELD7Qh4Re">pic.twitter.com/WELD7Qh4Re</a></p> <p>— Ian Miles Cheong (@stillgray) <a href="https://twitter.com/stillgray/status/1719881310351863952?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 2, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <p>However, others claimed that there was an unwritten rule that you shouldn't recline your seat, especially on a short-haul flight, adding that the recline feature should be scrapped from airplanes. </p> <p>“Putting your seat back in coach is an unspoken thing most people don’t do. It’s really the airline’s fault because they’ve made coach so cramped and tight that putting the seat back shouldn’t even be an option,” one commented. </p> <p>“Airline seats simply shouldn’t be able to recline. It intrudes on the already very little space a person has on the plane for the person behind them,” another added. </p> <p>“Really it’s the airline’s fault for cramming so many people in such a small space. They don’t call it cattle class for nothing,” a third wrote. </p> <p>One user understood both sides of the argument, and blamed the airlines for making the seats so cramped. </p> <p>"It can be annoying sometimes to be behind someone with their seat all the way, but if the airlines didn't want to allow that, it wouldn't happen," they wrote.</p> <p>"You don't kick the seat like a baby. Blame the airline, not the person doing what the airline says is fine." </p> <p><em>Images: Twitter</em></p>

Travel Trouble

Placeholder Content Image

Forcing people to repay welfare ‘loans’ traps them in a poverty cycle – where is the policy debate about that?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hanna-wilberg-1466649">Hanna Wilberg</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-auckland-1305">University of Auckland</a></em></p> <p>The National Party’s <a href="https://www.1news.co.nz/2023/09/26/more-sanctions-for-unemployed-beneficiaries-under-national/">pledge to apply sanctions</a> to unemployed people receiving a welfare payment, if they are “persistently” failing to meet the criteria for receiving the benefit, has attracted plenty of comment and <a href="https://www.1news.co.nz/2023/09/26/nationals-benefit-sanctions-plan-cruel-dehumanising-greens/">criticism</a>.</p> <p>Less talked about has been the party’s promise to index benefits to inflation to keep pace with the cost of living. This might at least provide some relief to those struggling to make ends meet on welfare, though is not clear how much difference it would make to the current system of indexing benefits to wages.</p> <p>In any case, this alone it is unlikely to break the cycle of poverty many find themselves in.</p> <p>One of the major drivers of this is the way the welfare system pushes some of the most vulnerable people into debt with loans for things such as school uniforms, power bills and car repairs.</p> <p>The government provides one-off grants to cover benefit shortfalls. But most of these grants are essentially loans.</p> <p>People receiving benefits are required to repay the government through weekly deductions from their normal benefits – which leaves them with even less money to survive on each week.</p> <p>With <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/pou-tiaki/132980318/auckland-mother-serves-up-cereal-for-dinner-due-to-rising-food-costs">rising costs</a>, the situation is only getting worse for many of the 351,756 New Zealanders <a href="https://figure.nz/chart/TtiUrpceJruy058e-ITw010dHsM6bvA2a">accessing one of the main benefits</a>.</p> <h2>Our whittled down welfare state</h2> <p>Broadly, there are three levels of government benefits in our current system.</p> <p>The main benefits (such as jobseeker, sole parent and supported living payment) <a href="https://www.workandincome.govt.nz/products/benefit-rates/benefit-rates-april-2023.html">pay a fixed weekly amount</a>. The jobseeker benefit rate is set at NZ$337.74 and sole parents receive $472.79 a week.</p> <p>Those on benefits have access to a second level of benefits – weekly supplementary benefits such as an <a href="https://www.workandincome.govt.nz/products/a-z-benefits/accommodation-supplement.html">accommodation supplement</a> and other allowances or tax credits.</p> <p>The third level of support is one-off discretionary payments for specific essential needs.</p> <p>Those on benefits cannot realistically make ends meet without repeated use of these one-off payments, unless they use assistance from elsewhere – such as family, charity or borrowing from loan sharks.</p> <p>This problem has been building for decades.</p> <h2>Benefits have been too low for too long</h2> <p>In the 1970s, the <a href="https://mro.massey.ac.nz/handle/10179/12967">Royal Commission on Social Security</a> declared the system should provide “a standard of living consistent with human dignity and approaching that enjoyed by the majority”.</p> <p>But Ruth Richardson’s “<a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/christchurch-life/124978983/1991-the-mother-of-all-budgets">mother of all budgets</a>” in 1991 slashed benefits. Rates never recovered and today’s <a href="https://www.1news.co.nz/2022/03/29/benefit-increases-will-still-leave-families-locked-in-poverty/">benefits are not enough to live on</a>.</p> <p>In 2018, the <a href="https://www.weag.govt.nz/">Welfare Expert Advisory Group</a> looked at how much money households need in two lifestyle scenarios: bare essentials and a minimum level of participation in the community, such as playing a sport and taking public transport.</p> <p>The main benefits plus supplementary allowances did not meet the cost of the bare essentials, let alone minimal participation.</p> <p>The Labour government has since <a href="https://www.beehive.govt.nz/release/government-delivers-income-increases-over-14-million-new-zealanders">increased benefit rates</a>, meaning they are now slightly above those recommended by the advisory group. But those recommendations were made in 2019 and don’t take into account the <a href="https://www.stats.govt.nz/news/annual-inflation-at-6-0-percent">sharp rise in inflation</a> since then.</p> <p>Advocacy group <a href="https://fairerfuture.org.nz/">Fairer Future</a> published an updated assessment in 2022 – nine out of 13 types of households still can’t meet their core costs with the current benefit rates.</p> <h2>How ‘advances’ create debt traps</h2> <p>When they don’t have money for an essential need, people on benefits can receive a “special needs grant”, which doesn’t have to be repaid. But in practice, Work and Income virtually never makes this type of grant for anything except food and some other specific items, such as some health travel costs or emergency dental treatment.</p> <p>For <a href="https://www.1news.co.nz/2023/02/27/very-stressful-beneficiary-says-he-cant-afford-msd-debt/">all other essential needs</a> – such as school uniforms, car repairs, replacing essential appliances, overdue rent, power bills and tenancy bonds – a one-off payment called an “advance” is used. Advances are loans and have to be paid back.</p> <p>There are several issues with these types of loans.</p> <p>First, people on benefits are racking up thousands of dollars worth of debts to cover their essential needs. It serves to trap them in financial difficulties for the foreseeable future.</p> <p>As long as they remain on benefits or low incomes, it’s difficult to repay these debts. And the <a href="https://www.legislation.govt.nz/act/public/2018/0032/latest/whole.html">Social Security Act 2018</a> doesn’t allow the Ministry of Social Development (MSD) to waive debts.</p> <h2>Contradictory policies</h2> <p>Another problem is that people on benefits have to start repaying their debt straight away, with weekly deductions coming out of their already limited benefit.</p> <p>Each new advance results in a further weekly deduction. Often these add up to $50 a week or more. MSD policy says repayments should not add up to more than $40 a week, but that is often ignored.</p> <p>This happens because the law stipulates that each individual debt should be repaid in no more than two years, unless there are exceptional circumstances. Paying this debt off in two years often requires total deductions to be much higher than $40.</p> <p>The third issue is that one-off payments can be refused regardless of the need. That is because there are two provisions pulling in opposite directions.</p> <p>On the one hand the law says a payment should be made if not making it would cause serious hardship. But on the other hand, the law also says payments should not be made if the person already has too much debt.</p> <p>People receiving benefits and their case managers face the choice between more debt and higher repayments, or failing to meet an essential need.</p> <h2>Ways to start easing the burden</h2> <p>So what is the fix? A great deal could be achieved by just changing the policies and practices followed by Work and Income.</p> <p>Case managers have the discretion to make non-recoverable grants for non-food essential needs. These could and should be used when someone has an essential need, particularly when they already have significant debt.</p> <p>Weekly deductions for debts could also be automatically made very low.</p> <p>When it comes to changing the law, the best solution would be to make weekly benefit rates adequate to live on.</p> <p>The government could also make these benefit debts similar to student loans, with no repayments required until the person is off the benefit and their income is above a certain threshold.</p> <p>However we do it, surely it must be time to do something to fix this poverty trap.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/212528/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hanna-wilberg-1466649"><em>Hanna Wilberg</em></a><em>, Associate professor - Law, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-auckland-1305">University of Auckland</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/forcing-people-to-repay-welfare-loans-traps-them-in-a-poverty-cycle-where-is-the-policy-debate-about-that-212528">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

Placeholder Content Image

Hilarious reason dad couldn't be fooled by online scam

<p>One savvy dad has outwitted a scammer who posed as his daughter, after the scammer made one hilarious error. </p> <p>Ian Whitworth, a dad from Sydney, took to his LinkedIn page to share the message a scammer texted him in a classic phishing scam that targets parents. </p> <p>He shared the photo of what he thought was the "funniest phishing text any parent has ever received".</p> <p>The text read, "Hey dad, dropped my phone in the sink while doing the dishes. Its unresponsive this is my new number for now just text me here x."</p> <p>Despite the terrible grammar and punctuation that would immediately alert anyone to the possibility of a scam, it was something else that caught the dad's attention. </p> <p>Instead, Whitworth said it was the fact his daughter would never do the chore mentioned by the scammers.</p> <p>Still, he thought it was worth sharing a photo of the text in a bid to warn others, which he uploaded along with the comment, "Cybersecurity update. I just got this."</p> <p>"Perhaps the funniest phishing txt any parent has ever received. 'Doing the dishes', yeah, for sure."</p> <p>In a reply to one of the people who commented on his post, Whitworth joked that his daughter "at age four emerged from my parents' kitchen with a shocked look on her face. 'What's pop doing?'. He was washing up in the sink."</p> <p>Another commenter wrote, "Haha! There is NO WAY this is from my son or daughter, that's for sure."</p> <p>Another commenter said the giveaway that it wasn't from his own child was that they didn't immediately ask for money, to which Whitworth replied, "Ha, yeah, the phishers are like the seven step ladder of confidence before the money issue gets raised. Actual kids: MONEY NOW."</p> <p>According to the federal government's Scamwatch website run by the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC), the "Friends/Family Hi Mum" impersonation scam was common.</p> <p>"Scammers send messages pretending to be a family member or a friend desperate for money," it said.</p> <p>"They say they have a new phone and they need you to pay money to help them out of a crisis."</p> <p>Scamwatch warns: "Don't assume a person you are dealing with is who they say they are" and offers the following advice.</p> <p>"If someone you know sends a message to say they have a new phone number, try to call them on the existing number you have for them, or message them on the new number with a question only they would know the answer to," it said.</p> <p>"That way you will know if they are who they say they are."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / LinkedIn</em></p>

Legal

Placeholder Content Image

10 helpful etiquette rules for posting a loved one’s death on social media

<p><strong>There’s no right way to deal with death on social media</strong></p> <p>The first thing to bear in mind when sharing or hearing of a loss on social media is that everyone is different. “When it comes to grief, there’s no one way to deal with it, and no correct prescription, so each person’s way needs to be respected,” says Dr Fran Walfish, a family and relationship psychotherapist.</p> <p> “When people are experiencing a loss, it’s very important to step aside, not tell them what to do, and take your cues from them.”</p> <p><strong>Let the closest loved ones post first</strong></p> <p>While anyone affected by a death can feel a strong impulse to share the news on social media, such announcements should be left to the deceased person’s closest family members, who should have the prerogative to decide when, what, and how they want to post. “Sharing is really for the closest loved ones’ benefit, so leave it up to that core group to post the initial news of the passing,” says Stef Woods, who teaches classes on social media. </p> <p>“Note what information has been included or excluded from that post, then follow suit and show support.” A recent study found that the content of those posts can vary depending on the social media platform used. In a 2016 paper, two University of Washington students who had analysed the feeds of deceased Twitter users found, “People use the site to acknowledge death in a blend of public and private behaviour that differs from how it is addressed on other social media sites,” according to a press release.</p> <p><strong>Streamline logistics</strong></p> <p>Because social media has the power to reach such a large network simultaneously, it can be a helpful tool for a family dealing with preparations for a service or memorial. “When the loss is fresh and there are lots of plans to coordinate, it can save people time and emotional energy rather than re-sharing the same information in call after call,” says Woods. </p> <p>If you’re on the phone with someone, she explains, you could get stuck in a conversation that’s not just about you relaying information, it’s also about the other person processing it, and you may not have the time or mental patience for such an exchange. “It can be easier to post the information on Facebook, and then go focus on logistics. It can help give the closest loved ones their own time,” she adds.</p> <p><strong>Get your facts straight</strong></p> <p>While it seems like it should go without saying, when posting about a death on social media, it’s especially crucial to make sure your information is accurate. “I have a niece who was in the ICU for many months with pneumonia teetering between life and death, and all of a sudden on Facebook, I saw a close friend of my brother express condolences, but my niece was still alive!” says Walfish. </p> <p>She rushed to do damage control by contacting the friend – who was a kind, well-meaning person – to prevent her brother from ever seeing such an upsetting post. Fortunately her niece ultimately recovered. “We were lucky in my case, but you can’t always erase what goes out there.”</p> <p><strong>Be careful with details</strong></p> <p>People hearing of a death on social media may want to get more information, understandably, but your curiosity is less important than the family’s need for privacy. “If the core group doesn’t indicate the details of how someone passed in the post, there’s some reason they included or excluded that information,” says Woods. If you happen to know details that weren’t publicly shared by the relatives, it isn’t your place to put that information out there. “Let the core group take the lead,” adds Woods, who points out that ultimately, “finding out the Why and How doesn’t change the fact that someone is gone.” </p> <p>In addition, whether you’re the closest family or the most distant friend of the deceased, be aware that whatever information you post could be viewed by children. “So, if God forbid there was a suicide or any kind of questionable circumstances to the death, be very cautious about how and what you say if you don’t want a teenager or younger child to see it,” says Walfish.</p> <p><strong>Respond in the medium in which you received the news</strong></p> <p>Remember that in the first hours and days after someone passes, the loved ones of the deceased are dealing not only with a storm of emotion but also a long list of logistics. While social media can help that core group to share information more easily, such a public announcement can leave them open to getting bombarded with hundreds of calls and texts. “If you’ve been notified on social media rather than receiving a call, that means for whatever reason that the closest family members didn’t want to or didn’t have time to talk to everyone,” says Woods. </p> <p>“So when acknowledging the news, stick to the medium through which you received the information.” If someone posts on Facebook, she says, reply briefly online, but don’t rush to call or text; instead, give the family space to deal with what they need to deal with. “Wait and reach out later,” Woods advises. “The loss will still be felt long after the services have passed.” An exception may be if you can offer to help in any way – by taking care of children, for example, or hosting out-of-town relatives who may come in for the funeral.</p> <p><strong>Decide whether to keep the departed’s online profiles</strong></p> <p>There’s a good chance that the person who passed has an online profile, and it’s up to their loved ones to decide what to do with it. “Sometimes a person’s profile page is deleted, sometimes the page is kept up, sometimes a separate memorial site is created,” says Woods. “It’s all up to what’s best for those who are grieving the most – there’s no right or wrong way to handle it.” If a deceased person’s Facebook page, for example, continues to be active with respectful photos and posts, it can become a space where everyone can process the loss and remember together.</p> <p>“It can be healthy to express that those who are gone are not forgotten,” says Woods. For some, however, maintaining a lost loved one’s online presence can be detrimental. “When someone keeps a deceased person’s page alive, in a way it’s parallel to memorialising the deceased by making a shrine in your home,” says Walfish. “It can stop some people from moving forward in their life; it’s like not allowing the final resolution of acceptance.”</p> <p><strong>Make your own wishes known</strong></p> <p>When it comes to looking ahead to your own passing, if you have specific wishes about your own social media presence, share them with your loved ones, says financial planner, Pamela Sandy. “Because we live so much of our lives on various social media platforms, we need to think about whether we want all that out there after we’re gone,” she says. Speaking from personal experience, Sandy adds that when her significant other passed, she wasn’t sure of his wishes for his Facebook page and didn’t know where his username and password was. </p> <p>After a time, she found his login credentials and deleted his page, which is what she believes he would have wanted. In order to help her clients avoid similar situations, Sandy includes an online platform that stores people’s changing usernames and passwords to be accessed by their loved ones after their passing – among the services she offers. Additionally, in 2015 Facebook introduced a feature that lets people choose a legacy contact – a family member or friend who can manage their account when they pass away, according to a company press release.</p> <p><strong>Avoid platitudes</strong></p> <p>When you’re trying to show support for someone who has experienced a loss, avoid comments containing trite platitudes such as “They’re in a better place,” especially if you don’t know the family’s beliefs. </p> <p>“For example, saying the person lived a long life may not sit well because the family may not feel it was long enough,” says Woods, adding that it’s fine to be honest and say you don’t know what to say. “It’s OK to write ‘I’m so sorry; there are no words,’” says Woods. “It’s OK to be honest and sincere.”</p> <p><strong>Check your privacy settings</strong></p> <p>When posting, sharing, or commenting on any sensitive information – such as a death – make sure you understand who will be able to see it. “People have different social media privacy settings, so they may think no one can see a particular post when they can,” says Woods. </p> <p>“If you’re sharing a post, say, on Instagram and connecting it with Facebook, it automatically defers to your Instagram setting. Or your phone may have a different default setting than your laptop.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t give into a grief Olympics</strong></p> <p>Sometimes a close family member’s post about the loss of a loved one can attract not only sincere condolences, but also comments in which more distant family or friends get carried away with their own feelings. “It can become a ‘grief Olympics,’ and it should be avoided,” says Woods. Once news of someone’s passing has been announced by their core group, she says, avoid comments about yourself such as bemoaning how hard the news is for you. </p> <p>“If you feel the need to process your own grief, record that processing on your own page,” she suggests. “And do so without tagging any of the core loved ones or the person who passed. If they want to know your views, they’ll see it.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/culture/etiquette-rules-for-dealing-with-death-on-social-media?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Gen X dad’s odd punishment for four-year-old son sparks debate

<p dir="ltr">A self-proclaimed Gen X dad has sparked a furious debate after a video clip of him punishing his four-year-old son went viral on TikTok.</p> <p dir="ltr">Wisconsin-based dad Derek Longstreth said he had no other choice but to make his young son, Truman, heave massive jugs of water across the yard because he hit his mum.</p> <p dir="ltr">“All right little man, let's go, you've got all these jugs to carry,” he told his son, as he showed five water jugs.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He hit his mom today, so, spanking is out of the question because you liberals made it so we can’t spank our children any more,” he explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">The father-of-one recorded his son struggling to carry the water jugs, but offered him words of encouragement as the boy tried to carry it across the yard.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Let's go, young man. I love you just so you know, but you're not going to hit your mom,” he said. “You can do it. I love you son but we don't hit women in this family.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Longstreth then explained why he chose to punish his son this way, and said that spanking your child is not allowed in Wisconsin.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He's four. We're not allowed to spank in the state of Wisconsin because some liberals are saying there are better ways.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“'Well liberals, what's the better way?”</p> <div><iframe title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7256440921728863530&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40hamburgerjones23%2Fvideo%2F7256440921728863530&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp19-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2Fc29492b9251f41139161e469b64b4d0e%3Fx-expires%3D1689789600%26x-signature%3DRnuVqM3A6bo1miOskT3JdYiBlWA%253D&amp;key=5b465a7e134d4f09b4e6901220de11f0&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p> </p> <p dir="ltr">After the father complained about the liberals, he continued to try and teach Truman a lesson, despite the child complaining that he “can’t do it” multiple times throughout the video.</p> <p dir="ltr">At the end of the clip, Longstreth asks his son: “Are you going to hit your mom again?”</p> <p dir="ltr">“No,” the four-year-old responded.</p> <p dir="ltr">Longstreth also made his son apologise for hitting his mum.</p> <p dir="ltr">The nine-minute clip has racked up over 1.9 million views, while many applauded the father for his “gentle” ways of parenting and disciplining his son, others slammed him for “abuse”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Big respect to this dad. He gave the kid a hard job with encouragement and reassurance that he loves him as well as why the kid had to do it,” wrote one person.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This is honestly probably the best and most effective way to discipline your child. Every moment they do this they are thinking about what they did,” commented another.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Good dad, raising his son right, teaching him to never lay his hands on any women especially his momma. Very good,” agreed a third.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This is like so gentle yet so disciplining in all the good ways,” wrote a fourth.</p> <p dir="ltr">However, other viewers disagreed with the father’s method.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This is abuse.... I said what I said. I'm sorry he hit his mom though, talking it out is fine. He's too little for this,” commented one person.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Lol. When people ask what the next traumas will be, it’ll be every moment being a phone in their face. Did you need to post this? Pathetic,” wrote another.</p> <p dir="ltr">“You don't want him to associate work as punishment. how about no tv, no sweets, something that is usually a privilege. work is something that is good,” added another user.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Why am I online? Research shows it’s often about managing emotions

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/wally-smith-1450210">Wally Smith</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/greg-wadley-203663">Greg Wadley</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>Most of us <a href="https://wearesocial.com/au/blog/2022/02/digital-2022-australia-online-like-never-before/">go online</a> multiple times a day. About half of 18–29 year olds surveyed in a 2021 <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2021/03/26/about-three-in-ten-u-s-adults-say-they-are-almost-constantly-online/">Pew Research Study</a> said they are “almost constantly” connected.</p> <p>How are we to make sense of this significant digital dimension of modern life?</p> <p>Many questions have rightly been asked about its broader consequences for society and the economy. But there remains a simpler question about what motivates people across a range of ages, occupations and cultures to be so absorbed in digital connection.</p> <p>And we can turn this question on ourselves: <em>why am I online?</em></p> <h2>What are we doing when we go online?</h2> <p>As the American sociologist Erving Goffman <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1975/02/16/archives/frame-analysis.html">pointed out</a>, asking “What is it that’s going on here?” about human behaviour can yield answers framed at different levels. These range from our superficial motives to a deeper understanding of what we are “really” doing.</p> <p>Sometimes we might be content to explain our online behaviour in purely practical terms, like checking traffic routes or paying a bill. Other times we might struggle to articulate our reasons for going or remaining online.</p> <p>Why are we continually looking at our phones or computers, when we could be getting on with physical tasks, or exercising, or meditating, or engaging more fully with the people who are physically around us?</p> <h2>The ever-present need to manage our emotions</h2> <p>As researchers of human-computer interaction, we are exploring answers in terms of the ever-present need to manage our emotions. Psychologists refer to this activity as <a href="https://www.guilford.com/books/Handbook-of-Emotion-Regulation/James-Gross/9781462520732">emotion regulation</a>.</p> <p>Theories of the nature and function of emotions are complex and contested. However, it is safe to say they are expressions of felt needs and motivations that arise in us through some fusion of physiology and culture.</p> <p>During a typical day, we often feel a need to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1037/1089-2680.2.3.271">alter our emotional state</a>. We may wish to feel more serious about a competitive task or more sad at a funeral. Perhaps we would like to be less sad about events of the past, less angry when meeting an errant family member, or more angry about something we know in our heart is wrong.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PQkNb4CLjJ8?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Digital emotion regulation is becoming increasingly common in our everyday lives.</span></figcaption></figure> <p>One way to understand our frequent immersions into online experience is to see them as acts within a broader scheme of managing such daily emotional demands. Indeed, in <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1071581922001732">earlier research</a> we found up to half of all smartphone use may be for the purpose of emotional regulation.</p> <h2>Digital technologies are becoming key tools of emotion regulation</h2> <p>Over the pandemic lockdowns of 2020–21 in Melbourne, Australia, we investigated how digital technologies are becoming <a href="https://dl.acm.org/doi/10.1145/3491102.3517573">key tools of emotion regulation</a>. We were surprised to find that people readily talked of their technology use in these emotion-managing terms.</p> <p>Occasionally, this involved specially designed apps, for mindfulness and so on. But more often people relied on mundane tools, such as using social media alongside Zoom to combat feelings of boredom or isolation, browsing for “retail therapy”, playing phone games to de-stress, and searching online to alleviate anxiety about world events.</p> <p>To some extent, these uses of digital technology can be seen as re-packaging <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/026999399379285">traditional methods</a> of emotion management, such as listening to music, strengthening social connections, or enjoying the company of adorable animals. Indeed, people in our study used digital technologies to enact familiar strategies, such as immersion in selected situations, seeking distractions, and reappraising what a situation means.</p> <p>However, we also found indications that digital tools are changing the intensity and nature of how we regulate emotions. They provide emotional resources that are <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ubiquitous_computing">nearly always available</a>, and virtual situations can be accessed, juxtaposed and navigated more deftly than their physical counterparts.</p> <p>Some participants in our study described how they built what we called “emotional toolkits”. These are collections of digital resources ready to be deployed when needed, each for a particular emotional effect.</p> <h2>A new kind of digital emotional intelligence</h2> <p>None of this is to say emotion regulation is automatically and always a good thing. It can be a means of avoiding important and meaningful endeavours and it can itself become dysfunctional.</p> <p>In our study of a small sample of Melburnians, we found that although digital applications appeared to be generally effective in this role, they are volatile and can lead to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/sep/27/social-dilemma-media-facebook-twitter-society">unpredictable emotional outcomes</a>. A search for energising music or reassuring social contact, for example, can produce random or unwanted results.</p> <p>A new kind of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10187756/">digital emotional intelligence</a> might be needed to effectively navigate digital emotional landscapes.</p> <h2>An historic shift in everyday life</h2> <p>Returning to the question: <em>what am I doing online?</em> Emotion regulation may well be the part of the answer.</p> <p>You may be online for valid instrumental reasons. But equally, you are likely to be enacting your own strategies of <a href="https://cis.unimelb.edu.au/hci/projects/digitalemotionregulation">emotion regulation through digital means</a>.</p> <p>It is part of an historic shift playing out in how people negotiate the demands of everyday life. <img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/208483/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/wally-smith-1450210">Wally Smith</a>, Professor, School of Computing and Information Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/greg-wadley-203663">Greg Wadley</a>, Senior Lecturer, Computing and Information Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-am-i-online-research-shows-its-often-about-managing-emotions-208483">original article</a>.</em></p>

Technology

Placeholder Content Image

Plane “crime” reignites long standing debate

<p dir="ltr">A travel influencer has reignited the age-old debate over what personal items truly belong in a plane’s overhead lockers, after they called out passengers for filling the compartments with their jackets. </p> <p dir="ltr">Snapping a photo on the on-board “crime”, online observers were quick to chime in with their thoughts on the matter. </p> <p dir="ltr">Given the online discourse around the controversial jacket storage, a poll conducted by nine.com.au found that most people agreed that there was nothing wrong with the action. </p> <p dir="ltr">While most people agreed that filling up the lockers with jackets is a frustrating move, an overwhelming 90% agreed that it was fine to do. </p> <p dir="ltr">"I thought that was exactly what an overhead locker was for???" one reader commented.</p> <p dir="ltr">However, according to globetrotters Matt and Hillary, who posted the original video on TikTok, doing so is a "crime".</p> <p dir="ltr">"If you plan to fly in 2023, please don't be the people who fill up an entire overhead cabinet with your jackets. It's an absolute waste of space. They could sit on your lap or most airlines have hooks."</p> <p dir="ltr">Instead, a more common gripe for travellers, according to the online poll, was the size of some people's 'carry on' luggage.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I think it's time the airlines stamped out some of the sizes of cases that get taken on as hand luggage," one person said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Jackets and small bags should be the only items in the overhead locker. Too many people bring way too much carry-on luggage and take up the space of others, I might add this is my pet peeve when flying anywhere," another agreed.</p> <p dir="ltr">"It amazes me that folks get on aeroplanes with suitcases or sacks they expect to squeeze into the overhead lockers without any thought or consideration for their fellow travellers," was another frustrated reply.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Travel Tips

Placeholder Content Image

Transformers trailer sparks fury online

<p dir="ltr"><em>Transformers</em> released a string of teasers and behind-the-scenes footage ahead of the June premiere of <em>Transformers: Rise of the Beasts </em>- but quickly stripped a scene that appeared reminiscent of the September 11 attacks.</p> <p dir="ltr">The seventh<em> Transformers</em> movie in the franchise is set to hit Aussie cinemas on June 22, and <em>Transformers</em> shared an extended trailer that showed the Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre surrounded by black smoke, according to the New York Post. </p> <p dir="ltr">The scene’s evocation of 9/11 shocked viewers and many didn’t believe the image could be affiliated with a <em>Transformers</em> movie.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This image certainly made me stop scrolling,” wrote Twitter user Daniel Kibblesmith, alongside the jarring screenshot from the trailer.</p> <p dir="ltr">Kibblesmith’s tweet attracted more than 2.5 million views in less than 24 hours after being posted.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Transformers’</em> caption read, “It’s about to be epic. Go behind the scenes with our cast and crew, and meet the new characters of <em>Transformers</em>.”</p> <p dir="ltr">As of May 23, the post no longer appears to be on the franchise’s Twitter page. </p> <p dir="ltr">The nearly two-minute teaser features Anthony Ramos, who stars in <em>Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts </em>as Noah Diaz, an ex-military electronics specialist living in Brooklyn, New York.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This is about to be epic. This is about to be epically crazy,” Ramos said in the behind-the-scenes clip. </p> <p dir="ltr">The footage shows a peaceful NYC skyline with the Twin Towers before abruptly cutting to a shot of the Statue of Liberty in the foreground and the World Trade Centre covered in thick smoke in the background.</p> <p dir="ltr">Steven Caple Jr, the movie’s director clarifies in the clip that the upcoming movie is “in chronological order, is the second <em>Transformers </em>movie – it takes place during the ’90s”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I didn’t think that it was possible, but here I am, even less interested than ever in seeing a <em>Transformers</em> movie. They’ve done it again, the mad genii,” one Twitter wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This could have been easily avoided if they’d picked literally any other city besides New York,” another tweeted.</p> <p dir="ltr">“That is … an unfortunate shot,” yet another said of the upsetting image, while another said it was “too soon”.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credit: Twitter</em></p>

Movies

Placeholder Content Image

Divorce led me to my true love

<p><em><strong>Over60 community member, Mary Green, 63, shares her story about how when her marriage suddenly ended after 44 years she found that it was a blessing in disguise.</strong></em></p> <p>"On the Easter weekend of 2012 I was dumped by my husband of 44 years! After a small disagreement I had gone to our holiday flat on a remote golf course outside Melbourne to work on a book fast approaching its publishing deadline. When I messaged that I would be back on Tuesday, he replied by SMS that he had changed the locks.</p> <p>I was incredulous. Marriage is often not easy, but I was about to find out just how tough I was. For the next two months I travelled gypsy style between the golf flat and the tiny new South Yarra studio my second of three sons had just moved into. I have not been inside our family home since.</p> <p>This was the situation I was in when I decided to date. At 63 I just started again. I joined three online dating sites and did not waste time. I booked to meet seven men in the next seven days, apparently breaking all the rules of being cautious and discreet. All seven men were polite and interesting. We had a coffee or met in a wine bar and I had fun, but there was no chemistry. I was just happy being free from my husband.</p> <p>During this time my husband sent my belonging to me on a truck (which I paid for) and when I was sorting through the boxes of files, a page caught my eye. It was the minutes of the golf estate owner’s corporation, and out jumped the name of a man that I had been at school with. Our sisters were best friends in those days. I checked Facebook, and there he was, with three children, seven grandchildren – but I couldn’t see a wife. A bit of messaging banter later, I asked him to ring me.</p> <p>We met up for a drink that turned into dinner and a hug that I will never forget. In my eyes he was still the handsome sporting hero that I had beaten in the high school mixed doubles tennis finals. He was not looking to date. I hoped he would just give me some lessons in online dating. He had been divorced for about 15 years and had two very long relationships with women that he had met on dating sites. He told me that my booking of seven men in seven days was breaking the rules, but also admitted that he had stacked his dates, just hours apart, in order to meet them all. By Christmas 2012 we were a couple in love.</p> <p>It’s been nearly two years since that first date and I am grateful for the internet and the coincidence that we both owned property on the same golfing estate. He plays A Grade, and I try. We are similar in so many other ways that it’s quite spooky sometimes. Our families have embraced each other and the joy of just knowing he is there helps me immensely through what has been a difficult time.</p> <p>Having worked as a support in my ex-husband’s career, and suddenly having to pay bills without a job of my own, led me to Centrelink. They said that I was too old to retrain at no cost, unless I wanted to study Aged Care – something rather peculiar in that thinking, a subsidised course in bookwork software would be more useful and help me save on accountant’s fees. In the meantime I’m setting up my own Facebook blog, called Healthy Ageing. If I can find a good man on the internet, I am optimistic about building a good lifestyle on it too."</p> <p><em>*Names have been changed</em></p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

5 essential tips for buying clothes online

<p>It all seems so easy – a few clicks and you can have a pretty pile of clothes (or shoes, bags, jewellery – anything you like really) delivered to your door.</p> <p>But if you’ve ever gotten a bit click-happy with your online shop and then had buyer’s remorse, read on. We’ve got some advice that will ensure you’re left with nothing but five-star reviews for the items you purchased.</p> <p><strong>1. Buy from stores you trust</strong></p> <p>Often we are left dissatisfied when we buy clothes from a brand we don’t know. The fit isn’t quite right, or the quality might be off. Try to point your credit card at labels that you know and love. You’ll know your true size, you’ll know how well the clothes stay in shape after ten washes, and you’ll know you can return it with no hassles.</p> <p><strong>2. Check your wardrobe</strong></p> <p>Often we are attracted to clothes that we think we love, but it turns out we already own something pretty similar. This could explain why you might have five blue and white striped tops (and so perhaps you don’t need another?). Think about whether the items you want to buy fit into your current collection. If you’re buying shorts, do you have some shirts to go with them? If you have your eye on a dress, do your sandals go with it?</p> <p><strong>3. Check the returns policy</strong></p> <p>Many online shopping hubs offer free returns – but it always pays to check the details. Some will only offer store credit, while others offer your money back (no question asked). You’ll also want to be sure that you can either return the items in the post (without paying for postage), or that you can pop in-store to get a refund in person. Don’t get stuck with a bag full of ill-fitting clothes that you can’t easily give back.</p> <p><strong>4. Look for discounts first</strong></p> <p>Many sites offer discounts online, but you have to know where to look to find them. Simply search online for the store name and the word ‘discount coupon’ and you should find a few options to try. Or if you want to save time, download the Honey app, which automatically applies any working coupon available on the web. Then just enjoy the savings.</p> <p><strong>5. Sign up to be notified about sales</strong></p> <p>If there is a brand or site you use often, sign up to the newsletter so that you’re in the loop about big discount sales. Often there are change of season sales, pre- and post-Christmas offers, and more. Stay in the know and plan your splurges accordingly, rather than buying now and then seeing everything half price the following week.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Beauty & Style

Placeholder Content Image

Influencer’s extensive list of plane etiquette rules reignites age-old debate

<p dir="ltr">A travel influencer has shared an extensive list of what you should and shouldn’t do on a plane, reigniting an age-old debate about in-flight etiquette. </p> <p dir="ltr">Ben Keenan, a frequent traveller from Seattle in the US, posted his list of dos and don’ts in a now-viral TikTok, saying it is “disgusting” for a passenger to take off their shoes and you should always check behind before reclining your seat.</p> <p dir="ltr">Keenan begins his list with his least controversial point, saying travellers should always greet their flight attendants when boarding the plane, pointing out that it costs nothing to be friendly and polite. </p> <p dir="ltr">He then broaches the topic of taking off your shoes on a plane, which was met with mixed responses. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Do not take off your shoes or socks when you’re sitting in your seat, you disgusting people,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">He went on to urge people not to pick an aisle seat if you plan on sleeping through your journey. </p> <p dir="ltr">“When selecting your seat before the flight, go ahead and determine what type of flyer you are. Are you someone that sleeps or are you someone that’s awake?” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Because if you’re on an aisle seat, you need to be prepared to stand up and move out of the way multiple times during the flight – and I know this sucks but that truly means that you should not be a sleeper.”</p> <p dir="ltr">He continued, “Speaking of sleeping on the plane, if you’re going to recline your seat to do that, go ahead and make sure the people behind you aren’t resting their head on your seat or using that tray table because do you know how many times I’ve been smashed in the head by somebody who just aggressively leans back.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Keenan’s list of etiquette rules was met with a mixed response, with people both praising and criticising certain unspoken rules. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Nope … definitely taking my shoes off! And I’m not turning back to check … I will recline gently though,” one traveller said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“If it is a long flight, shoes are allowed to come off (8+ hours),” another wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr"> One flyer agreed with Keenan’s rules, admitting, “I approach every flight like I'm being graded, and the flight attendants will give me an A+ for my flight etiquette.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Another bemused viewer put it simply, writing, “I’ve never flown but this all seems like common sense?”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Travel Tips

Placeholder Content Image

"Too busy marching": Debate rages over fiery Anzac Day post

<p>A man has shared a controversial claim on Twitter about Australia’s relationship to Anzac Day, sparking a fiery debate.</p> <p>Australians and New Zealanders gathered to commemorate the 108th anniversary of the landing of Anzac troops at Gallipoli in World War I on April 25th. Services were held all over both countries to mark the day of remembrance.</p> <p>On May 34th, Brad Turner, who says he is a former Navy submariner and AFP officer, took to Twitter to argue that the values of the annual celebration were “no longer reflected” by Australia.</p> <p>He notably called out Australia’s confrontation with China on behalf of the US.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Australia is a society that dutifully gets up early every April 25 to gather, Mach & remember our Dead. Speeches are made, politicians speak of sacrifice & honour whilst possessing or embodying neither. That same society that holds paramount ideals of egalitarianism, mateship &… <a href="https://t.co/sbHHbRiYAF">pic.twitter.com/sbHHbRiYAF</a></p> <p>— Brad Turner (@tur14865416) <a href="https://twitter.com/tur14865416/status/1650394428841037826?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 24, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <p>“Australia is a society that dutifully gets up early every April 25 to gather, march and remember our dead,” he wrote in the post, which has been viewed more than 20,000 times.</p> <p>“Speeches are made, politicians speak of sacrifice and honour whilst possessing or embodying neither. That same society that holds paramount ideals of egalitarianism, mateship and sacrifice is forgotten on the other 364 days of the year.</p> <p>“On those days Australia marches right past veteran suicides, war crimes, illegal wars and widespread inequality and corruption. Is it really a day of remembrance? Or is it theatrics so society can pretend they care about victims of war or our conduct as a country with an aim to feel better about apathy and inaction as a nation towards these things.</p> <p>“We don’t notice any of these things because we are too busy marching. But this time it’s headlong into another pointless American war with China. The things we celebrate about our nation on Anzac Day are sadly no longer reflected in Australia’s actions. They have not been in some time.”</p> <p>Several people online took the same stance as Mr Turner.</p> <p>“I don’t like Anzac Day. It overlooks our follies in joining Britain and US wars. WWII was noble. The rest were con jobs to enrich the industrialists. Our people have all these solemn events only to assuage their ‘je ne c’est quoi’ because they don’t feel any guilt but should,” one wrote.</p> <p>“Our politicians spend more on memorial monuments and museums that they can put their name on a plaque on the wall than they do for the actual veterans who are suffering from PTSD or other ‘souvenirs’ they have brought back from their tours,” another said.</p> <p>“Flag waving patriotism has taken over Anzac Day. We are one step away from parades of military hardware while the populace salute. What should be a reflection on the horrors of war has become it‘s celebration. John Howard did this,” a third added.</p> <p>“Listening to the Labor government yesterday follow in the footsteps of the Coalition, justifying spending billions antagonising China at America’s request is not the ‘lest we forget’ I think about,” a fourth wrote.</p> <p>Others fired back and said Anzac Day was still important.</p> <p>“Mate … it’s about remembering the sacrifice and loss of our mates … lest we forget,” one wrote, adding, “I don’t worry about [politicians] anymore grandstanding on the day. It’s our day not theirs to remember our mates.”</p> <p>Another wrote, “It is tradition. It separates the fluff of ordinary living to reflect on sacrifice not only of the dead, of lives unlived, of the unfathomable grief but also of the living dealing with the trauma and moral injury of tooth and claw war. It is not a celebration which distracts.”</p> <p>“I understand this perspective, but at the same time I ask myself — is there any harm in this form national reflection? I agree there have been some military follies following the absolute necessity of WWII, but would add that there is no guarantee that the next engagement is such,” a third wrote.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

News

Placeholder Content Image

Pregnant woman’s plane dilemma sparks debate

<p>In a tale as old as modern time, the internet has erupted over a tweet. </p> <p>When professional American baseball player Anthony Bass shared his wife Sydney Rae Bass’s in-flight trouble to Twitter, he was expecting an outpouring of support, and perhaps an answer from the airline. </p> <p>Instead, he generated a heated debate over plane etiquette, entitlement, and the responsibilities of parenting - namely, cleaning up after your own kids. </p> <p>In the viral tweet, Anthony - who was not with his family at the time of the incident - wrote that a flight attendant had made the 22-week pregnant Sydney “get on her hands and knees” to clean up the mess their 2-year-old daughter had made with her popcorn. </p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">The flight attendant <a href="https://twitter.com/united?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@united</a> just made my 22 week pregnant wife traveling with a 5 year old and 2 year old get on her hands and knees to pick up the popcorn mess by my youngest daughter. Are you kidding me?!?! <a href="https://t.co/vLYyLyJC54">pic.twitter.com/vLYyLyJC54</a></p> <p>— Anthony Bass (@AnthonyBass52) <a href="https://twitter.com/AnthonyBass52/status/1647632911720390664?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 16, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <p>The airline was quick to ask Anthony for more information in the comment section, but with over 70 million views - and counting - and 10,000 likes, many had questions. And because it was the internet, where filters tend to fall to the wayside, people had no qualms about sharing their opinion with the irate father. </p> <p>“Genuinely curious who should clean up the mess your 2 year old made?” one asked him. “As a parent of three kids I am the one responsible for them.”</p> <p>Anthony, who was having none of it, fired back, “The cleaning crew they hire!” </p> <p>“It's called being considerate,” someone else pointed out, “and we all know planes don't get thoroughly cleaned during a day of flying.”</p> <p>In one popular response, one user reminded the sports star that “just because you’re rich doesn’t mean everyone is your servant. I hope this helps.”</p> <p>One former flight attendant chimed in as well, telling Anthony that “a flight attendant is there for safety, not to pick up after you or your children.”</p> <p>“Shouldn't have even had to ask, TBH [to be honest],” another said. </p> <p>“I have three kids, just flew coach 12 hours, and was able to clean up after them - for every mess. It’s called parenting,” one shared. “Do you expect park janitors to clean up after your pet? No; Your child, your responsibility.”</p> <p>Although the majority were in agreement that it was “the most pretentious, arrogant, self-absorbed tweet of all time”, there were still those in Anthony’s corner. </p> <p>As one such supporter wrote, “I think it’s disgusting that the stewardess made a pregnant woman clean up a mess if they’re going to supply popcorn on the aeroplane. Be ready for messes to clean up if you don’t like it, don’t serve popcorn.”</p> <p>Perhaps the loudest - and most passionate - on their team was Sydney Rae’s sister, Jessie James Decker. </p> <p>The country singer and reality TV star took to Instagram to share her thoughts in a now expired story, where she wrote that she had just received a text from Sydney from her flight, and “as you know, she is five months pregnant, high-risk, and also travelling alone with her two small children. </p> <p>“Blaire [their 2-year-old] accidentally spilled some popcorn in the aisle, and the flight attendant came up to Sydney with a trash bag and a wet wipe, telling her the captain wants Syd to clean up every drop.</p> <p>"My poor sister is on her hands and knees, crying in the aisle, completely humiliated and exhausted, with her children while everyone else watched.”</p> <p><em>Images: Twitter</em></p>

Travel Trouble

Placeholder Content Image

Online travel giant uses AI chatbot as travel adviser

<p dir="ltr">Online travel giant Expedia has collaborated with the controversial artificial intelligence chatbot ChatGPT in place of a travel adviser.</p> <p dir="ltr">Those planning a trip will be able to chat to the bot through the Expedia app.</p> <p dir="ltr">Although it won’t book flights or accommodation like a person can, it can be helpful in answering various travel-related questions. </p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Travel planning just got easier in the <a href="https://twitter.com/Expedia?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@Expedia</a> app, thanks to the iOS beta launch of a new experience powered by <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ChatGPT?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#ChatGPT</a>. See how Expedia members can start an open-ended conversation to get inspired for their next trip: <a href="https://t.co/qpMiaYxi9d">https://t.co/qpMiaYxi9d</a> <a href="https://t.co/ddDzUgCigc">pic.twitter.com/ddDzUgCigc</a></p> <p>— Expedia Group (@ExpediaGroup) <a href="https://twitter.com/ExpediaGroup/status/1643240991342592000?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 4, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr"> These questions include information on things such as weather inquiries, public transport advice, the cheapest time to travel and what you should pack.</p> <p dir="ltr">It is advanced software and can provide detailed options and explanations for holidaymakers.</p> <p dir="ltr">To give an example, <a href="http://news.com.au">news.com.au</a> asked “what to pack to visit Auckland, New Zealand” and the chatbot suggested eight things to pack and why, even advising comfortable shoes for exploring as “Auckland is a walkable city”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Remember to pack light and only bring what you need to avoid excess baggage fees and make your trip more comfortable,” the bot said.</p> <p dir="ltr">When asked how to best see the Great Barrier Reef, ChatGPT provided four options to suit different preferences, for example, if you’re happy to get wet and what your budget might look like.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It’s important to choose a reputable tour operator that follows sustainable tourism practices to help protect the reef,” it continued.</p> <p dir="ltr">OpenAI launched ChatGPT in December 2022 and it has received a lot of praise as well as serious criticism. The criticisms are mainly concerns about safety and accuracy. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty/Twitter</em></p>

International Travel

Placeholder Content Image

Bride’s online dress disaster

<p>Bride-to-be Zuzanna was full of excitement ahead of her engagement party - she was free of stress, and she had an amazing dress … until she didn’t. </p> <p>Zuzanna had been under the impression that her Amazon find - a gorgeous white lace maxi dress with nearly 3000 promising reviews - was going to be everything she dreamed. But that dream was destined to become a nightmare, with the online retail supergiant sending her a much shorter version of the garment. </p> <p>Gone was any vision of a long skirt swirling around her ankles as she strode in to her upcoming engagement party, with the new hem barely grazing Zuzanna’s knees in a picture she posted to Facebook group What I Asked For VS What I Got. </p> <p>“It’s not a bad dress at all,” she wrote, “but it’s really not what I was going for.” </p> <p>Continuing from there, Zuzanna took the opportunity to warn others who might have had the same idea as her, pleading for them to “be careful what you order. I bought this dress for my engagement party on Saturday … I definitely will not be wearing it!” </p> <p>She then explained that it had taken her by surprise to open her package and made the unexpected discovery, as the reviews for the product had been so positive. Her misfortunes weren’t to end there, however, with Zuzanna noting that the dress’ “material is super cheap feeling, but I feel like I could have worn it once before it fell apart in the wash.”</p> <p>She hadn’t had any problems with her Amazon purchases before, and hadn’t even considered that poor outcome, though it now meant she’d have to go out in search of another dress for her party. </p> <p>“I don’t hate the dress,” she surmised, “it's just not right for the occasion and that's so sad.”</p> <p>And although Zuzanna seemed to have come to terms with her fate, and didn’t seem too upset about it, people in the comments still wanted to offer her their support, with a few suggestions on how she should proceed with Amazon. </p> <p>“They have a short dress on the site, they probably scanned the wrong item when they sent it to you,” one said.</p> <p>'It's probably a mistake,” another wrote, before sharing that they actually “had several of these maxi dresses” and that Zuzanna should try contacting the company. </p> <p>Meanwhile, others seized the opportunity for some fun, with one asking “where's the other half of the dress?”</p> <p>“Wow,” said another, “you must be really tall!”</p> <p><em>Images: Facebook</em></p>

Beauty & Style

Placeholder Content Image

"Back to the kitchen": Granny Guns flexes down at online trolls

<p>A body-builder granny has hit back at trolls after showcasing her killer biceps online.</p> <p>The TikTok star, 62, shows herself pumping iron, and doing various workouts on her account, with nasty individuals leaving comments saying she belongs in the kitchen.</p> <p>The 62-year-old enjoys making TikTok fitness videos, and she’s proved to be extremely successful online, having just shy of 800,000 followers.</p> <p>In one video, the granny is pumping iron at the gym.</p> <p>The video then cuts to her dancing around with a tray of homemade cookies, which she says is how she acts “any other time”.</p> <p>However, trolls online labelled her as just a woman made for the kitchen, and that’s when the biceps came out.</p> <div><iframe title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7208386374041423146&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%4065_strong%2Fvideo%2F7208386374041423146%3Flang%3Den&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2F632c57901f47459e97728aea3dbe7729_1678333249%3Fx-expires%3D1678683600%26x-signature%3DQUziUnUI1Gk%252FIjO45MfLA8OhWNk%253D&amp;key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p> </p> <p>The granny made a video where she threw shade at a few hate comments such as “women are weak” or “back to the kitchen”.</p> <p>The video then cuts to her friends lifting weights in a show of strength.</p> <p>The gym granny was showing off a tough move at the bicep curl machine.</p> <p>As she pulled the bar to her chest, her biceps flexed to reveal some serious muscle.</p> <p>She captioned her TikTok, “For all my fellow female fitness lovers”.</p> <p>Fellow users flocked to the comments to show their support.</p> <p>“I have a crush on everyone,” one user said.</p> <p>Another exclaimed: “I love this! And all the amazing women in this video!”</p> <p>“I love you grandma”, a third gushed.</p> <p>To which the granny replied, “Love you back”.</p> <p><em>Image credit: TikTok</em></p>

Body